Tuesday, May 24, 2005
| Taking My Foot and Shoving It In My ASS and FACE. ass AND face. Yesterday as I sat at my desk, a very old man walked off the elevator and we had the following conversation: Old man: “JOE CUTTHESHIT! How ARE you?” Joe CuttheHot: “I’m, uh…doing fine. How are you?” (I HATE when old men walk off the elevator) Old man: “Joe, when did we last meet? You’ve been here a long time, yes?” JCTH: “Yes, I’ve been here for 4 years actually.” Old man: “Do you recognize me Joe?” JCTH: “Yes, of course. I just don’t remember your name.” Old man: “No problem. My name is Herman Wouk. Pleasure to meet you again.” JCTH: (HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!) “Oh my goodness. Oh, Mr. Wouk, I’m so sorry.” Herman Wouk: “It’s okay Joe. I’m here on an impromptu visit. Is your boss here?” JCTH: “Yes, of course. I just want to say that meeting you was such a huge deal for me. Your books, your legacy…I am so sorry for not immediately recognizing you.” Herman Wouk: “Well, I have gotten older so maybe that’s why you didn’t recognize me.” JCTH: “Oh no! That’s not it. You’ve made such an impression on me, I should have-“ Herman Wouk: “Joe, stoppit. “ JCTH: “Yes sir. I’ll get my boss.” Herman Wouk: “Thank you Joe.” MORTIFYING. You see, many people probably don’t know who Herman Wouk is. If you haven’t read his UBER famous books The Caine Mutiny, War and Remembrance, Marjorie Morningstar, or seen the UBER famous movie The Caine Mutiny, then maybe the rock you are living under would have saved you from this experience. But considering the fact that my rock doesn’t include being ignorant about Herman Wouk, I was ASHAMED to have not recognized him. Of course he found out my name from our security guard and acted as though he TRULY remembered me, but still…I am a MORON. My new drag name is IMA MORON. PLUS…my best friend Rita named her CAT “Marjorie Morningstar” growing up. How could I not remember him after THAT? Worst part of it all? He is a member of my organization’s BOARD. He donates shit loads of money and is a BOARD MEMBER and I’m like “Yeah, whatever old man, I’ve worked here for four years, what the fuck IS it to you?” Ah geez. |
